A Letter To Myself [and to other women]

Some things I’ve learned and some things I’ve yet to learn. I’m going to think of this like a letter to myself (because Lord knows I need it!) so…

–this is going to be highly unorganized but we’re just gonna roll with it–

Dear Hayley,

God before Everything

First and foremost should be your relationship with God. He should come before any and all people or things. And I mean ALL….don’t let a good thing become a god thing in your life.

If you are placing God first, dying to yourself daily, the rest of your priorities will likely fall into place.

Wake up every morning and commit your day to Him. Stay in constant communication with Him. Say yes to whatever He presents.

[Deuteronomy 6:5 love The Lord, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength]

Love Others

Pretty self-explanatory…Get grace (from God), give grace (to others).

Your greatest command is to love one another. The best way to express something is to be it.

Replace “love” with “Hayley” in 1 Corinthians 13 and put it into action.

[John 13:34-35 a new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are My disciples 1 Peter 4:8 above all, love each other deeply because love covers a multitude of sins 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.]

Put to Death Your Insecurities

When you try to manifest personal security thorough a man (or really any person) the amount of pressure you place on him is immeasurably more than he can bear.

Think about it, if you had the sole responsibility of making some insecure someone believe that they were valuable you would feel very inadequate and overwhelmed! How would you even begin?? And let’s say IF you figure that out, how exhausting it would be!!

In So Long Insecurity, Beth Moore writes, “Men want us to get a grip anyway. They don’t like the pressure of being in charge of our sense of value. Its too much for them. The candid ones will gladly admit it, and for those who don’t, you’ll know it by the flapping of their shirts in the wind as they run for their lives.”

[Proverbs 31:25 she is clothed with strength and dignity……..READ SO LONG INSECURITY BY BETH MOORE & I promise your life will be changed]

Turning Hearts over Turning Heads

Do not lower your standards for anyone and be purposeful about who you open yourself to.

You will have to keep him with what you catch him with….gravity and time will not be your friend if you’re banking on looks.

If you were only concerned with turning the heads of men, what would change once you were no longer single? If your goal was to turn heads, you’d be seeking as much male attention as possible and the turned head of one man, even if he was your husband, would only ever be one. You’d never be satisfied in that singularity.

But when your goal is to turn hearts, you really only ever want to hold one – your husbands; the heart you vow to love and care for, the heart you vow to fight and work for, the heart you never want to hurt and never want to leave. You will be satisfied in that one…knowing it is your responsibility alone to be an earthly example of Christ’s love to your husband; to be his number one earthly servant, protector, comforter, romancer, and cheerleader…knowing that God created you for, and knowing that he and God both trusted you with, such a great task will make one more than enough.

[1 Peter 3:3 your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight]

Encourage Don’t Nag

Learn the difference….it is important.

Head back to Adam & Eve – woman was created as a helper for man, his ezer kenegdo. John Eldredge writes in Wild at Heart, “Robert Alter says, this is a “notoriously difficult word to translate.” It means something far more powerful than just ‘helper,’ it means ‘lifesaver.’ The phrase is only used elsewhere of God, when you need Him to come through for you desperately.”

With great power comes great responsibility. You were created to help your husband but the fall makes you think different.Genesis 3:16 says, (to the woman) “you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” So, here you are, beep-bobbing around thinking you are being so helpful but that gets fuzzy when your bent to sin gets added.

Your helping turns into nagging… and nagging does not help. {just pray it out sister}

[Proverbs 21:9 better to live on the corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife]

Surround Yourself

Godly friends are a treasure!

Find them and make an effort to keep them close. You become most like the 5 people you are closest to, choose wisely. 

[Proverbs 27:17 as iron sharpens iron so one person sharpens another Proverbs 18:24 one who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother]


It’s not a bad word…I promise…

…and it is not reserved only for your husband. Submit to Christ and submit to authority.

When submission is done the way God created it, it is beautiful.

Submission is serving. Submitting is giving an invitation to lead and it is always coupled with respect.

[Ephesians 5:21 submit to one another out of reverence for Christ]

Be the best you, the you God created you to be; a woman after God’s own heart, a woman that makes Him proud. Do not consume yourself with perfection but with progress. Stop comparing yourself to other women. You know how hard it is to be a woman, don’t make it ANY harder for another – show ’em your Jesus. It takes work but it is so worth it.


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